nonsense

far away
four dimensions away
barely a picture to recall

but in this breeze I build a dream
it gently passes over me
and makes of hope a memory
and coaxes me to fall

it suddenly occurs to me
you've slipped into the songs I sing
the object of my wanderings

I want you more than anything.

please God can't I just wallow in self-pity for a teensy little while?

Oh man. This is what we classify as a "low point." Reasons:
- I didn't get a part in the musical.
- My spring break plans to go to Buffalo with my roommate just got canceled and I don't know what I'm doing now.
- I had a crush on this one guy...or maybe I just liked the idea of having a crush on him...anyway, it is not mutual, so whatever.
- Valentines Day is THURSDAY. (see above.)
- I don't know if I'll get the job I want this summer.
- This fall I will be STARTING OVER at a new school, not to mention I'm not positive what I'll be studying...
- I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
- I don't really feel like God has someone for me...and maybe He has called me to be *gulp* single...well I don't really believe that but it sure looks that way right now.

anyway. people and life keep disappointing me. but God is so funny, because He never lets me wallow in self-pity or anything...whenever I just want to have a good cry or moment of sympathy for my poor lonely and under-apprecated self, He does something like this:



which, clearly, brings me to tears. the person of Jesus mystifies, draws, and captures me forever. Jesus has my heart. allllll of it. and not some stuffy Jesus with a perpetual frown and girly hair. a hard-working, laughing Jesus--a man of sorrow, full of humility and compassion, but one who also laughs at my jokes and understands my frustrations. no earthly man will ever "complete" me, like I thought when I was 14. Thankfully, God *continues* to teach me that I am only complete in Him.