Oh man. This is what we classify as a "low point." Reasons:
- I didn't get a part in the musical.
- My spring break plans to go to Buffalo with my roommate just got canceled and I don't know what I'm doing now.
- I had a crush on this one guy...or maybe I just liked the idea of having a crush on him...anyway, it is not mutual, so whatever.
- Valentines Day is THURSDAY. (see above.)
- I don't know if I'll get the job I want this summer.
- This fall I will be STARTING OVER at a new school, not to mention I'm not positive what I'll be studying...
- I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
- I don't really feel like God has someone for me...and maybe He has called me to be *gulp* single...well I don't really believe that but it sure looks that way right now.
anyway. people and life keep disappointing me. but God is so funny, because He never lets me wallow in self-pity or anything...whenever I just want to have a good cry or moment of sympathy for my poor lonely and under-apprecated self, He does something like this:
which, clearly, brings me to tears. the person of Jesus mystifies, draws, and captures me forever. Jesus has my heart. allllll of it. and not some stuffy Jesus with a perpetual frown and girly hair. a hard-working, laughing Jesus--a man of sorrow, full of humility and compassion, but one who also laughs at my jokes and understands my frustrations. no earthly man will ever "complete" me, like I thought when I was 14. Thankfully, God *continues* to teach me that I am only complete in Him.
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If I could just respond (very late) to your points with a little encouragement:
* There will be other musicals, and you WILL get parts in them. For now, you get to enjoy these last few months in OK before heading back to AL.
* Buffalo would be fun, but think of the drive time!
* What perfect timing! You're getting ready to go to another college anyway, so if you had entered the relationship it would have turned into a long-distance one, and those never work out. This way you go to JSU on the hunt!
* Ok, so I missed this in time for Valentine's Day, but you saved good money on a card and candy you'd have had to get him...and would he really have appreciated the time and effort you put into picking out that perfect card? Probably not.
* But if you get ANY job, there will still be a paycheck. And this is experience you can add to your resume someday. And besides, why are you looking at this from the negative? Say, "I WILL get the job I want this summer...and it'll be great!"
* New school, new beginnings, new friends...and hey, you could become "Brianna" again if you want (much easier to find personalized keychains, I think) or stay the mysterious "Saron", forcing all future boyfriends and husband to search forever for anything with something REMOTELY resembling your name on it (can you tell I'm married to someone with a unique name? Try finding anything at all with "Lisettet" on it...not gonna happen)
* AWESOME! This is the time when you're getting your education and experiences in discovery of life! Why on earth would you want definite direction yet? Save that for after graduation. Better yet...keep asking God what you're supposed to be doing with it. I'd bet good money He probably has an idea of what to do with your life. ;)
* You've kidding, right? Of COURSE God has someone for you. The time may not be right now, but it will happen in His timing. And hey, what's the fun in life if there is no mystery about what He has planned?
Hang in there, even through the frustrating times. These are the moments of your life when you'll look back and laugh at everything God was doing behind the scenes for you. You'd be amazed at what He's orchestrating on your behalf. Don't give up, don't lose hope, and don't wallow! :)
We're all still praying for you!
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